The Tennessee Liberal

So, I am blessed to share my birthday with International Talk Like A Pirate Day. In this way, I could ask for no better birthday present. But here are, in no particular order, my birthday wishes:

1) To have New Orleans back.

2) To have the Market Street Bridge back.

3) To be rid of the ugly specters of William Cotton, Curtis Adams and Lou Miller.


4) To be rid of the ugly specter of Zach Wamp.

5) To have greater Chattanooga get made fun of on the Daily Show every night.

6) To play the mandolin like Sam Bush.

7) To be as carefree about my fellow Americans as George Bush.

8) To go back in time to save the future, like the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future, but I would get Al Gore elected.

9) To somehow live the rest of my life in Athens, Ga. without the Georgia fans.

10) To see the Smokies smog-free in my lifetime.

11) To see UT beat LSU in Death Valley and make up for last weekend.

12) To talk to my grandfather one last time.

13) To get NCAA College Football '06, which apparently didn't account for the fact that Erik Ainge and Rick Clausen both suck.

14) To see the day where Martin Luther King's legacy is honored by those who claim it.

15) To finally get a hole-in-one at The Sinks.

16) To look back when I'm older and think, "Damn, I had a good time when I was 26."